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Freedom
Freedom is what the terrorists hate about us If you have to look up what freedom is, you are probably a terrorist, a liberal, or not an american. Hierarchy of Freedom *Americans *Britains *Some random countries . . . . . . LAST *French, commies, Russians and their death threats, liberals, gingers, democrats and bears. They have nothing to do with democracy or liberty. The Word Itself Freedom (pronounced FREEEEEEEEDOM! if you are Mel Gibson) was invented by America, therefore we get to decide who is free and who isn't. Thanks to America's charitable nature, America and its military love to spread freedom to those who deserve it (See: Iraq). Freedom Paper Another facet of freedom is money and the free market. Those who have more money have more freedom, as expressed in "Worthington's Law." This explains the position of the United States as the free-est country in the world. Unfortunately, terrorists hate the free market, and therefore hate freedom. America has been trying to give freedom to its new friends around the world, but the terrorists are making that very difficult because they keep blowing up our heroes and burning our American Flags. But America will win, because we can use our freedom to buy more flags and more weapons, to invade more countries, and just generally to be more freeish. False Freedoms Some Democrats function under the false assumption that freedom means they have certain "rights" which allow them to "freely" abuse God's moral law. These so-called freedoms include the freedom of abortion, freedom to commit euthanasia, freedom to conduct stem cell research by killing babies, the freedom to commit gay marriage and the freedom to separate religion from every other aspect of life. But these actions are not manifestations of freedom, these are sins. And remember: America was not founded on sins, it was founded on freedom! Freedom Fakers Another group that would like to claim a right to our freedom is terrorists, well, it's more like the A.C.L.U. claiming freedom for terrorists, but they're basically the same thing. Wisely, President George W. Bush has signed into law the Military Commissions Act which suspends habeus corpus for detained enemy combatants (i.e. terrorists). Obviously, fair trials cannot be given to terrorists as they are sneaky and will find some way to weasel out of a conviction. Common freedom-gaining terrorist tactics include feigning a heart attack, or pointing while shouting "Look over there!" and then running away while everyone is distracted. Besides, if they were arrested, they must be terrorists. No one has ever been detained who didn't do something wrong, nixo-facto, there is no need for courts to have "fair" trials as this would waste valuable time and money. Clearly, the only way to deal with people who hate freedom is to deny them freedom. One Step Ahead of The Freedom-Haters It should be mentioned that since habeus corpus has been suspended, there is one less thing for the terrorists to hate about our freedom. It is conceivable that even more of the freedoms we enjoy and take for granted could be suspended or restricted. If this were to happen, it may be possible that the terrorists will have nothing to hate about America. Given the possible party shift due to the 2006 mid-term elections, it should be noted that Democrats may try to make America more vulnerable by keeping certain freedoms unrestricted or even repealing some of the laws and actions of the Greatest Administration. The best protection against this re-vulnerablization is to strengthen the Patriot Act, encourage Warrantless Wire-tapping and Secret CIA Prisons, and Double Guantanamo. America Has Always Been The Vanguard For Freedom Some left-leaning individuals like to be contentious when speaking about freedom by pointing out that America hasn't always been at the vanguard for freedom. These liberals try to bring up the fact that America was once a country that condoned and practiced slavery. What such factinistas fail to realize is that at the time that slavery was all the rage, slaves were only 3/4 of a person, so they didn't count. It took Republican Abraham Lincoln to give the slaves that 1/4 of humanity they needed to be fully human. But do these new Human-Americans show their thanks by joining the G.O.P.? No, they usually side with the filthy Democrats. Stephen and Freedom Stephen Colbert is trying to bring freedom to everyone who watches his show. He helps defend freedom by eliminating terrorists, liberals, French-Canadians, bears, and french-liberal-bear-terrorists. He also defends those that defend our freedom, like God, The Greatest President Ever and other heroes. Qualities of Freedom * Freedom doesn't beg. * Freedom shares. * Freedom won't steal your lunch money. * Freedom plays fair. * Freedom is good. * Freedom is what terrorists hate. * Freedom was what Communists hated back in the day. * Freedom should be afforded to everybody except for liberals, Communists, terrorists, and bears. * Freedom is a right, not a privilege. * Freedom means freedom to own guns. * Freedom means freedom to speak American. * Freedom is about responsibility. * Freedom trusts America. * Freedom is the motto of the internets. * Freedom is a sacred institution, like the Church and marriage. * Freedom does not mean that you can get gay-married. * Freedom has a flag, and it is red, white, and blue. * Freedom is but a small price to pay to keep America and your children safe. * Freedom and Liberty are best friends. * Freedom does not torture Freedomites. * Freedom is a great thing for the world. * Freedom costs a buck 'o five. People who hate freedom *Dick Cheney *Osama Bin Laden *Saddam Hussein *Mahmoud Ahmadhateamericajad *Michael Moore *Al Franken *Anarchist *John Kerry *Bill Maher *John Stewart *Sean Penn *Tim Robbins *Jane Fonda *Barbara Streisand *Winnie the Pooh *Yogi Bear *Chicago Bears *Bernstein Bears *Paddington Bear External Tubes *Free Speech is not free *The evolution of freedom *Freedom of Speech working with AlQaeda *Real American to lose Freedom of Speech *America: The only country where lying is not a crime.